


Trying My Best

by phenomanon



Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Coming of Age, Domestic Fluff, Drama, Episode: s05e24-25 Grave Danger, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Lemon, M/M, Psychological Trauma, References to Drugs, Romance, Roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:26:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28016187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phenomanon/pseuds/phenomanon
Summary: Nick is trying his best, and Greg sees him. (AU where N/G first meet as strangers/roommates)
Relationships: Greg Sanders/Nick Stokes
Kudos: 18





	Trying My Best

[ **_Song: Anson Seabra – Trying My Best_ ** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jJD_bXymR0&ab_channel=AnsonSeabra)

****—

“Hey it’s Greg. Here to check out the room?”

“Come in.”

Nick stepped aside so the younger man could enter his house.

“Thanks. I just moved here from San Francisco.”

“Nick.”

“You don’t talk much, do you?”

Before Nick could respond, Greg was already making himself at home. He cruised and picked up a book from the oak shelf by Nick’s fireplace. Hoping to detract Greg from any further snooping, the older man pointed in the opposite direction.

“Room’s this way.”

Though he was usually a pretty solitary creature, getting kidnapped and stuck in a box had changed Nick. He’d never fully recovered from the experience and neither a new dog or court-appointed therapist was going to fix him.

“Cool digs,” Greg said, flipping on the light switch, “Perfect place for my surfboard.”

“Hold on there boss, the room’s temporary. Six months or so with a one week trial period. I also have a dog outback—Sam. Big German Shepherd, but he’s a good dog.”

“Works for me. Gives me enough time to soak in Vegas and find my own place. And I like dogs.”

“Great. Can I...grab your ID then? For safety.”

“What, you gonna run a background check on me?” Greg joked, a little surprised when Nick’s reaction didn’t change.

“If you don’t mind. I work at the crime lab downtown.”

“Oh you’re serious.”

“Yeah.”

“No problem.” 

Greg awkwardly handed over his driver’s license and watched Nick disappear into another room; presumably his office. A few moments later Nick returned with a copy of Greg’s ID.

“Thanks, I’ll run it and let you know by tomorrow.”

“Actually I kinda need a place to stay tonight. I drove all the way here from California and the guy I was supposed to rent a room from gave it away without tellin’ me. Class act, huh?”

“Oh. I won’t be able to clear you until tomorrow though.”

“Look man, I just graduated from Stanford Phi Beta Kappa. Got first and last here too,” Greg handed Nick an unlabeled envelope full of cash, “And if you need collateral you can hold onto my coin collection. Certificates of authenticity all right there.”

Nick inspected the cash and coins while eyeing Greg incredulously. His instincts were telling him to give back the items and run but something in Greg’s eyes looked genuine and inviting.

“What was your concentration?”

“Chemical Biology.”

“Science geek.”

“You mean genius. _Full ride_. And as a genius, I’d much rather stay a night here than some seedy motel off The Strip. Ya feel me?”

Nick stuck the envelope into his back pocket and crossed his arms pensively.

“You can stay the night. But I’ll hold onto this until tomorrow. Oh and Greg?” Nick handed Greg back his velour coin case. “Next time don’t be so trusting.”

Greg bashfully put away his coin collection feeling like a naïve schoolyard boy. He rubbed the back of his head thoughtfully before asking, “So is it okay if I bring my stuff inside?”

“Depends. How much stuff ya got?”

“Not much. Two bags, a few books, my guitar, and my surfboard.”

“All right. Need a hand?”

“That’d be awesome.”

Nick followed Greg out to his Jetta and helped him move two large pieces of airport luggage, which Greg had conveniently failed to mention, into the house. Once Greg settled in Nick reluctantly handed him a copy of the key.

“One last thing.”

“What’s up?”

“This might be a weird question but...do you have any weapons?”

“Just my quick wit and devilish charm,” Greg tried, combated by Nick’s stoic deadpan, “No, no weapons. Not a fan of violence.”

“Good. Full disclosure, I _do_ own a gun for work. But the safety’s always on and it’s locked up.”

“Wow. Hope you never have to use it.”

“Me too.”

—

Nick rushed home after work; stomach full of butterflies and anxiety. He’d left a complete stranger alone, in his house, with all of his belongings. As Nick entered the familiar brick driveway, he felt warmth for the first time since he’d moved there. But the good vibes subsided once his shoes splashed into a camouflaged puddle on the hardwood. Nick followed the innocuous trail back to Greg’s room, whose door was unsurprisingly wide open.

The blonde was busy connecting a clear tube to his aquarium, dressed down in a Stanford tee and boxer briefs. In the distance Nick could see iridescent blue scales lighting up the small tank. Greg looked up and grinned at his oblivious audience.

“Hey. Settin’ up my new tank, what do you think?”

Greg did a dramatic twirl around the room for Nick.

“Figures. I followed the puddles leadin’ to your room.”

“Oh my bad, I’ll clean that up later.”

Nick casually leaned on the doorway for support and remarked, “Settling in I see.”

“Trying to. So you dig up any dirt on me?”

“Clean as a whistle.”

“Guessing you didn’t find out about the bank robbery in Tucson then. Those days are over though, I promise ya. I’m going straight ma!”

For a moment Nick’s eyes mimicked the fish’s, warranting a laughing fit out of Greg.

“What?”

“I’m kidding! Shoulda seen your face dude, oh man. Live a little.”

“I knew that.”

“Relaaax. I’m a decent guy.”

“So they always say. Anyways, I picked up a pizza on the way home if you’re hungry.”

“Starving.”

“Cool. I’ll get us set up in the kitchen while you...put some clothes on.”

Greg smiled at Nick’s conservative response, detecting a hint of blush in the undertones.

After he finally decided to put on a pair of pants, Greg migrated to the kitchen where both men ate together in amicable silence. It was still weird to have another person in the house but Nick found himself quickly getting used to the idea of Greg.

“So Nick, what do you do at the crime lab?”

“Criminalistics.”

“Catchin’ bad guys, ah?”

“There’s no good guys or bad guys Greg, just people.”

“Mmm, that’s fair. Pizza’s good though. Vegas secret?”

“Closest place to the house.”

“And here I thought you were tryin’ to show me something special.”

“Nope, nothing special around here.”

“You dating anyone?”

Nick’s head perked up at the question, his ears flushing a pale shade of pink.

“Job keeps me busy so it’s hard to meet people.” _That and his crippling PTSD, Nick thought._

“I was seeing someone before I left California. But we decided that the distance wasn’t going to work and I think we wanted different things.”

“Makes sense.”

“Plus he had the _*worst*_ taste in music. Wouldn’t have worked anyways.”

“... _He_?” Nick questioned, nearly choking on his crust.

“Yeah my first real relationship or whatever. We met at Stanford in our second year. Should have known everybody that goes there would have bad taste. Except for yours truly, of course.”

“Oh.”

“You okay? Was that TMI?”

Greg’s neck suddenly stiffened, instant regret settling into his face.

“No no, it’s just—I don’t know anyone who’s uh…”

“Gay?”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t worry, we don’t bite. Unless you want us to.”

Greg tried his best to lighten the mood amidst Nick’s escalating discomfort. 

“Grew up on a ranch in Texas so that’s my view of the world. Even though I was part of a fraternity in college and all that. Still just a regular guy.”

“Yeah that explains everything. Fret not grasshopper, I’ll be your spirit guide.”

“Spirit what now?”

“You know, someone to help you make mistakes and get a lil lost in life. Show you a whole new world outside the church.”

“Okay I’m not _*that*_ sheltered. Just particular.”

“Speaking of which, what’s your take on pineapple pizza? Now answer carefully—whatever you say can and will be used against you.”

“...Don’t even get me started.”

“I think we’re gonna get along _juuust_ fine.”

—

_The world was spinning._

At least that’s how it felt for Nick. All he could think about was how much oxygen he had left or how he was going to break through plexiglass without the top soil consuming him. Then something clicked; the clicking of a door. Greg was home. Nick didn’t want Greg to see him like this so he took a bold sip of whiskey and got to his feet. He stumbled into the kitchen and placed something on the counter, startling the younger man. But Greg countered with a warm smile and continued reorganizing the fridge.

“Hi Nick.”

“Hey can you do me a solid?”

Greg sensed a hint of alcohol and woodsy aftershave lingering in Nick’s presence.

“Sure what’s up?”

“Could you pick up a few things for me at the store? The list is right...there.”

Seeing the empty bags on the counter made Nick realize (all too late) that Greg had probably just returned from a grocery run. He solemnly kicked himself for the terrible timing. 

“No problem. Anything else?”

“That’s it. I’m exhausted from pulling a triple or I’d go myself.”

“No worries, I got you man.”

“Thanks Greg.”

And Nick really meant it.

—

Greg was drained from a full day of soul-sucking interviews. Though he had robust Stanford credentials, no company was willing to take a chance on a kid with no field experience. Sighing deeply Greg used the key fob to enter his temporary home. He immediately noticed an odd staleness to the air as Sam sprinted to the door, whining and squealing in circles at Greg’s feet. 

He carefully tiptoed around the house in search of anything out of the ordinary. Seeing Nick’s door slightly ajar, he knocked a few times and waited for an answer.

“Yeah?”

“Everything all right?”

“No. Yeah.”

“Okay, I’m comin’ in.”

Greg saw the older man sitting in a corner by himself; squared shoulders blocking the door with his eyes fixated on the wall. The lights were off and all of his curtains were drawn, making the room look like a black hole.

“I’m fine. You can go.”

“Don’t look fine.”

“It’s got nothing to do with you.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Not really.”

Making sure to leave ample space between them, Greg found a spot on the floor and sat down next to Nick. Nick shifted slightly, turning away from Greg as much as he could. 

“If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t have such a great day either. Went to about ten interviews and got back zero offers.”

“Sorry.”

“Nah I mean I’ll find somethin’. Those jobs weren’t for me, that’s all.”

“Mmm.”

“You know, back in California when I needed a lil pick me up sometimes I’d go surfing.”

“Nearest beach is over 100 miles away. And I don’t surf.”

“Surfing’s just a state of mind, my friend.”

Nick scoffed without turning his head.

“Don’t think that’s how it works, G.”

“G, huh?” Greg conscientiously reached past Nick to grab something from his nightstand. “This your family?”

“Yep.”

“For real? Almost thought this was the insert that came with the frame.”

“Why would I have a photo of a random family in my room?”

“I don’t know,” Greg shrugged, “Everyone just looks so...picture perfect. And there's _so many_ of you guys.”

“We don’t have to do this.”

“No I mean it, you guys look like a stock Christmas card. I always wondered what it’d be like to be part of a big family. I grew up with just my mom and grandparents, Nana and Papa Olaf.”

Greg nudged Nick to show him an aged photo of four happy people dressed in festive, traditional clothing. 

“Are you German?”

“Norwegian, but good guess. That’s the day Nana Olaf made us celebrate our heritage. Usually I have to destroy whoever sees this photo but I guess I’ll let you slide this time.”

Greg didn’t witness it but he could feel Nick smile just then. Slowly the older man turned towards him, trying to hide his somber expression with a smirk.

“Well you look nice.”

Nick’s comment flustered Greg a little more than it should have, possibly because Nick’s attention was now on him and nothing else. His eyes were naturally guided to Greg’s sharp silhouette, curves and angles forged at the points where his button down and slacks met.

“Oh this? Papa Olaf got it for me as a going away gift so I’d crush my interviews. Hasn’t worked so far but Papa Olaf’s magic is more of a slow burner anyways.”

Nick smiled weakly, the dark bags under his eyes glowing in the dark and illuminating his exhaustion to Greg. Greg wanted to ask what was bothering Nick but resisted.

“Ever have one of those days?” Nick pondered, drawing circles on the floor with his fingers.

“All the time dude.”

Greg’s eyes darted to the orange bottles lining Nick’s nightstand, which appeared to be untouched.

“Hmm.”

“Hey I’m gonna go grab something real quick. Hang tight for me okay?”

“Nah man, you’re good. Close the door behind you.”

“I’m leaving it open because I’ll be right back. Capeesh?”

Nick shrugged.

A few moments later, Greg returned with a glass of water and a pair of earphones. He motioned to Nick who had switched up his position and was now leaning against the side of his bed. Nick shook his head but Greg grabbed two medicine bottles off the nightstand at Nick’s behest.

“I’m fine.”

“No you’re not. Take these, it’ll help.”

Sighing dejectedly, Nick grabbed whatever Greg handed him and swallowed. He normally wouldn’t accept things from strangers but Nick was tired.

“Thanks.”

“What kinda music do you like?”

“I don’t know.”

“Come on I know you listen to something. Johnny Cash? Billie Holiday? Tupac?” Greg smirked, “You’re a Randy Travis fan, aren’t you?”

Nick simply shook his head; his throat too dry to speak. Greg reached for his phone and after finding something, handed one of the earphones over to Nick. 

“No thanks.”

“Humor me.”

Greg pushed past Nick’s rigid shoulders and infiltrated his personal space, dropping the ear piece into his lap. Nick annoyingly stuck it into his ear and turned his body away from Greg again. Soon soft piano flowed into the plastic carvings and rustled Nick into a dreamy daze.

**_Now it's time to let the curtains unfold_ **

**_And tell all the stories that I didn't want told_ **

**_I let it out so I unburden my soul I won't stop_  
  
**

**_'Cause I don't know_ **

**_The perfect road to go down_ **

_**But I know** _  
  


**_I'm trying my best_ **

**_I'm trying my best to be okay_ **

**_I'm trying my best but every day it's so hard_ **

Nick was now lying comfortably on the floor with Greg. His calloused hand reached out on its own, ghosting over Greg’s slender fingers and eventually resting there. Greg smiled without opening his eyes and weaved their fingers together until they were one. Moisture slid down Nick’s cheek and his eyes flickered open.

“About a year ago, something happened to me...I’ve never been the same since.”

“I see.”

“And sometimes when I think about it, it makes me like this. Everything’s fine, then all of a sudden, it’s not.”

“I hear you.”

“But I don’t want to take medication for it. Don’t like the way I feel on pills.”

“There’s other ways,” Greg puppeteered a smoking gesture, earning a look of distaste from Nick, “Or you know…”

Dark lashes traced feathery outlines over Nick, a finger dancing dangerously on the edge of his cheek. The feeling of Greg’s soft hands on his skin ignited sparks within Nick he never knew existed, his body completely betraying him. Finally Nick could no longer fight the temptation as he grasped a handful of blonde hair and brought Greg’s lips to his. 

“Don’t know if this is the xanax talkin’ but _damn_...this feels good.”

Nick’s hands unraveled Greg’s trousers and pulled off his boxer briefs in one swift motion. Soon they were unbridled; writhing against each other in sheer desperation. Nick skillfully moistened a finger and snaked it through Greg’s long legs, massaging the velvety crease before falling into madness. Sharp teeth broke the skin on Greg’s shoulders as curious fingers explored the new warmth. Greg moaned affectionately and opened his legs wider.

“Feels good Nick…Real good...”

He curled his fingers, watching in earnest as Greg’s vertebrae levitated off the bed. Then Nick spit into his hands and pervaded the willing body beneath him. Their forms stilled until Nick pushed himself as deep as he could, the searing pain transitioning into burning pleasure.

“I’m close…”

“Me too.”

Nick gently pulled out and got on his back; reversing their positions. Greg knowingly crawled on top and reached behind him, guiding Nick to the sweet spot and circulating his hips as he lowered himself. The movement awakened something so primal within Nick that he aggressively gripped Greg’s hips and slammed into the body above him. Greg was far from protest however, screaming Nick’s name as they both grew closer to the light. Once Nick reached for Greg’s nipple, the younger man tensed and collapsed, causing Nick to release himself into Greg. Greg bucked his hips at the warmth filling him where he and Nick were joined, getting a muffled cry of appreciation from the older man.

“Damn Greg...”

“Damn yourself.”

Nick finally let out a genuine laugh, the first Greg had ever heard from him.

“Those hips don’t lie, man.”

“Scout’s honor.” 

Greg playfully twerked in Nick’s lap a few times, causing the older man to short circuit from the sensitivity. He possessively grabbed Greg’s hips to hold the bundle of nerves in place.

“Ever thought about doing lab work?”

“Ooh is this sexy science talk?”

“I’m serious.”

“Well I was gonna work at the San Francisco crime lab but then I moved here instead. Why?”

“You know, I could put in a good word for you downtown— _second best lab in the country_. You’re lucky we got a couple of open lab tech positions right now. Trace, DNA analyst…”

“Are you asking me to be your work boyfriend?” Greg teased, making the older man blush.

“I guess. Plus it gives you another opportunity to wear that outfit again.” Nick suggested, sliding into Greg a few more times before succumbing to exhaustion.

“The outfit _did_ work after all. Thanks Papa Olaf.”

“Could we not talk about your grandpa while we’re…”

“Cuddling after coitus?” 

“Yeah that.”

“Gotta admit though, it worked like a charm.”

“Yeah yeah.”

“Does that mean my lease is still up in six months, or?”

“I think we can work something out.” 

Nick kissed the constellation of moles on Greg’s back and squeezed, giving Greg the exact answer he was looking for.

—

“God.”

The first thing Greg did when he got home was loosen his tie. He hated wearing ties. Greg also hated shaving and having to wear uptight dress boots with no wiggle room. He was much more comfortable in a colorful t-shirt, jeans, and a casual pair of sneakers—or nothing at all.

As Greg made his way to the kitchen for a celebratory beer, he noticed a bouquet of pristine yellow roses on the counter. Confirming he was alone, Greg picked up the flowers and immersed himself in the bountiful floral essence.

“Congrats.”

Greg’s head immediately jerked upwards; half out of embarrassment and half out of fear. Nick stood in the doorway with a smug grin on his face.

“For what? You tryin’ to tell me something Stokes?”

“Maybe,” Nick said in a low voice, meeting Greg where he was standing, “Like the flowers?”

“They’re nice, thanks. But I’m not a woman so…”

“So you don’t like them.”

“No it’s just—you don’t have to do things like this for me. I’m a dude. We’re both dudes.”

“Does that mean I can’t do nice things for you? I’ve never done this for a woman either. Just thought this is what people get each other to say congrats. At least according to the internet.”

“Well in that case,” Greg picked up the flowers again and brought Nick in for a kiss, “Let’s celebrate. We have a reason to celebrate, right?”

“From what I hear, you start on Monday. Normally I don’t go off rumors but as a CSI Level III, I did my due diligence.”

Greg smiled as Nick pulled on his tie, strong arms locking him into a comfortable embrace.

“All right Mr. Crime Scene Investigator. Oh by the way, I finally met Grissom. You were right—I’m definitely gonna spend my entire career tryin’ to impress that guy.”

“Welcome to the club.”

“He made a comment about how he shouldn’t be able to smell me over the disinfectants so...no cologne it is.”

“Oops, forgot to warn you about that.”

“Uhuh. I’m still doing my hair though, don’t care what he says.”

“Good. I like your hair,” Nick submerged himself in the scent of Greg’s shampoo, something with eucalyptus, sandalwood, and mint, and pressed a kiss to the back of his neck, “And your other... _assets_.”

As a person who constantly found himself lost in relationships, nothing had ever come so naturally for Nick. But with Greg he could be himself; open and vulnerable yet safe and protected. Nick smiled, finally finding the home he had been looking for all along.


End file.
